Two weeks have gone since I received my last treatment. The phase of ten month of various therapies was disbanded with a big bang — running 10k and celebrating with lots of wonderful people. Then I left Berlin for a week and went hiking and visited friends. It seemed to me that every day I reclaimed more and more energy while I was outdoors all of these days — no matter what kind of weather. I felt overwhelmed and happy.
Meanwhile I’ve been at home for a few days and I try to structure myself again for probably the fifth time this year. But this time there ain’t any appointments, there is no weak feeling due to any mediation and definitely less worries. This time I have to cope with other things. I’m in the stage between being ill and being healthy again (note: from a medical point of view I will be officially healthy in five years at the earliest) and I realise I have to adapt my daily routine to the shorter days urgently.
This is the first time this year, where I have back full control and I’m rather overwhelmed. What to do first? What will be my new “normal”, knowing for sure I can’t go back to the former “normal” daily habits.
I’m so deep in between:
- Illness and health
- Summer and winter
- Exceptional phase and upcoming standard phase
- Old and new normal status
- Insecurity and confidence
I’m just realizing that having done this journey matching with the seasons of a year offers a lot of parallels and helps realizing situations. Autumn is the perfect season to prepare for wintertime. The same as my current phase is perfect to prepare for rehabilitation which will be at the end of the year and also upcoming end of sick leave.
I like this phase. Should I have mentioned it earlier? Being in between something can be very creative. It gives space to think and make up your mind. And also I use this time to invest in my energy which is coming back more and more. The aim is: being outdoors as much as possible, boosting the immune system, building up a structure for wintertime.
I’m trying to balance as always: going with the flow and creating something new. And I’m curious to see what is waiting for me.